Not Compact
I had to take some paperwork into the office today. As usual, the parking structure was full of noncompact SUVs parked by ASSHOLES in compact spaces. Let's be perfectly clear. I'm not making a political statement about SUVs. I'm making a general statement about MORONS who are squeezing wide vehicles into narrow spaces, and will then, without exception, complain if they get dings in their door from other cars parked next to them. FUCKTARDS, one and all.You have no idea how tempting it is to take a key to the doors of these jerks' cars. But the parking structure is loaded with video cameras and security guards, so instead, I'll arm myself with a camera and come here to document and bitch about it.
Behold the supreme assholeness!
This silver truck jacked stupid-high off the ground is no doubt owned by a bitter little man who worries about the size of his penis. He's just asking to be vandalized.
An Expedition and an Escalade box in the little red compact car between them. FUCKTARDS. 
posted by LA @ 11:05 PM
24 Comments:
I despise these gigantic SUVs and the moron's who drive them and park them WHEREVER they may.....Did you ever notice that the majority of people who drive these 'Sports Utility Vehicles' are the least sporty looking people around?.....LA, I could totally see you 'accidently' tripping and the keys held firmly in your hand scrapping againest one of these big f**ktard vehicles....te hehehe!.....
...BTW, LMAO @ ffleur! :)
Natasha - I will venture to say that perhaps the biggest moron of all is the one who comes to a random blog and leaves a bitchy comment alongside a photograph of one's face.
ffleur and Jane - Thanks for getting my back! I heart you guys!
p.s. I drive a compact, too! And Jane, yes, brilliant observation!
I like how you captured two dickhead moves at once in that one photograph:
The guy with the big car who has to BACK his car into the space.
Why do people back their cars into spots??
I don't understand it. What's the point?
Either way, you still have to back the car up.
What REALLY pissed me off is when people try and back their cars into spots in lanes that are angled so they have to fiddle around for like 5 minutes trying to fuck with that.
People are idiots.
you should do what i do. spit on their door handle. it's not really vandalism and it gives you a warm, fuzzy feeling inside. :)
OMG! prettykitty, that is sooooooo not me, but I will try it!........
LA, you know you rock my friend, any time!...... ;)
listen, lady jane. i happen to know things that are technically not vandalism and this falls under the category. suit yourself if you want to just take pictures or stew at being mad at them. spit works mental miracles.
oh my god, too funny La!
I see parking morons are a worldwide disease!
Over here, parking is a nightmare and everybody seems to be either very big or very fat because they tend to park in between parking spaces occupying two parking spots or the reserved spots for handicapped ppl and even those with license plates associated with the space!
BTW prettykitty, your idea is fabulous! I thought of sticking gum to the door handle cuz I’m not a very good spitter, it always ends up on my shoes…!
oooh LA I am with you all the way on this one.
I have always had little cars (Karman Ghia, Saturn Coupe...) and these "Big Guys" never fail to piss me off.
Not just the parking (although that too) but the driving seems to be more agressive as well!
Total Pet Peeve! And your pictures speak 1,000 words..I especially hate the jacked-up silver truck.
lol @ PK
Mike - The pulling in backwards is a special hot button for me. This is an employee parking structure at a large hospital, and the line to get into the structure is backed out onto the street in the mornings because people are pulling these idiotic moves to get their car backed in while 50 people can't get past. It happens every single day.
Kitty - You evil genius you! LOVE IT!
Ana, bird, pope, ffleur, jane - word!
Seriously.
Now, on to other business.
When are you going to model those trucker hats?? :)
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prettykitty, I seriously cannot bring myself to spit out in public (I know, what a fecking priss I am), but seriously, I totally loved your idea..(BTW, I am like anaK, I am not a good spitter, it always falls down my chin and onto my shoes!).. Oh, and I totally like the chewing gum on the handle idea too.....now that I can do! :)
I'll add to the debate. Big SUV owners are even more frustrated by the enormous amount of money the have to spend to fill-up their tanks. 30 gallons @ $3.60 has gotta hurt. Especially if one commutes to work!!
I drove American V-8's my whole teen life, and they were an absolute blast. But reality as an adult has me hooked on Euro turbo.
Flix - I learned to drive on a 1973 Buick Electra 225, it had a 454 V8 engine.
I think you drive a Saab which is one of my faves. Do you have heated seats?
Oui. But I've never turned them on. The concept is beyond me.
The 454 is a big block. Lucky you LA.
LA, you're the evil genius! your photos capture the right amount of frustration and disbelief.
and jane, i know i could never ask a lady of your caliber to practice such disgraceful behavior. my humblest of apologies to all you refined ladies.
FLIX - OMG! You MUST try them out. A few reasons:
1) You live in freezing cold weather, and they really help warm you up.
2) They feel great on an aching back. Imagine you're driving in your car after a weekend of working on the house. Your back aches. Flip those seats on, and it's like a heating pad. I'm telling you, it's divine.
3) Here's the most important reason of all. It's great fun to freak out your passengers. My brother used to turn his on without his passenger knowing about it. It's totally hilarious to watch them squirm, roll up their sleeves, shift in their seat, open the window. One of his friends did all this and more before finally shouting out, "dude, I don't know what's wrong with your car, BUT MY ASS IS ON FIRE!" It was so freaking hilarious. The guy still hasn't lived it down.
Sassy - Don't worry, as long as you don't park your SUV in compact spaces in public lots, we're cool.
Heated seats are one of the greatest things ever.
Don't use them often in Southern CA very much, but I am glad they are there.
I love prettykitty! ;)
I totally agree with all that Rahneshin said.....and especially agree with his last statement....seriously, being called a moron by a 20 year old doesn't say much. :)
Brent - That was one of the greatest rants ever! What else riles you up? ;)
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